Random One-Shots
by leefpool
Summary: Just a bunch of random little one-shots I came up with.
1. Chapter 1

**Yay! My second Fanfic! This one is just a bunch of random ideas of mine that I stuck together, and each idea is one chapter. Some are funny, and some probably aren't, but all of them are fun to write. ^-^ Every part in this chapter is basically an extremely short story of some cats fainting. I hope you enjoy. ^-^**

**A/N: If you read my other fanfiction, you know about the 'face of the chapter'. Well, in this one, there will be a riddle at the beginning of every chapter, and it has to do with what's inside the chapter. By the end the chapter I want you to figure out what the answer is, but you don't have to unless you want to.**

I am the one who can make you freeze,

And fall to the ground on your knees;

I can make you lose your senses,

And stare with unblinking eyes.

You fall to the ground because of me,

When a clanmate dies.

What am I?

**That's this chapter's riddle! I'll give you just one hint of what it isn't: grief.**

**WARNING!: The following chapter contains spoilers for anyone who has not read beyond series 1, and may contain other spoilers as well, so I would advise reading all the books before Dawn of the Clans before reading this chapter. Also, if you read this chapter, you will see some things changed around a bit, so they're not the same as in the books.**

* * *

Chapter one:

At What Times Would Clan Cats Faint, If They Ever Fainted At All?

* * *

Sometime right after Lionblaze, Hollyleaf, and Jayfeather, opened their eyes:

Squirrelflight padded to the medicine den. "Leafpool, are you in there?"

"Yeah, what is it?"

"It's about the kits."

There was silence in the den for a moment, then Leafpool said, "Okay, come in to the back of the den." There was a note of anxiety in her voice.

Squirrelflight padded to the back of the den, and settled down in front of Leafpool.

"So, what is it? Are the kits okay?"

"Well, Jaykit's blind, but other than that, they're strong and healthy, just like any other kits."

A look of mixed shock and horror came across Leafpool's face. "One of them is… blind?" Then she fainted…

...And Squirrelflight panicked. "Leafpool! Are you alright? What's wrong? Why did you faint? I'll go and get help!" But before she could, she fainted too.

* * *

A few moons after that, in the Power of Three:

Lionkit, Hollykit, and Jaykit ran for their lives. They were a few fox-lengths from the edge of hollow… almost there… Hollykit and Lionkit skidded to a stop. They turned, and saw Jaykit still running. "Jaykit! Sto-" But they were too late. Jaykit ran straight over the edge.

Hollykit and Lionkit gasped in unison, and ran to the edge. They looked over it, and saw Jaykit lying motionless on the ground.

They fainted.

* * *

Several moons after _That_:

"We've got such a big destiny!" Hollypaw gasped. "I… just… can't… take it!" And she fainted.

Lionpaw snorted. "She-cats!"

* * *

Sometime way before that, in the first series:

Fireheart stared. "So, you're meeting a RiverClan she-cat."

"Yes."

Fireheart fainted.

Graystripe turned to Silverstream. "Sorry, I have to go. Someone has to drag him back to camp," he said, flicking his tail toward Fireheart.

"It's okay." She licked him on the ear. "I'll see you tomorrow night." Then she swiftly ran off.

Graystripe sighed, picked up Fireheart, and carefully dragged him back to camp.

When he finally got to camp, the tunnel guard asked him why Fireheart was unconscious. He replied with the first answer that came to his mind. "We decided to try night hunting, and he fainted from shock when he missed a sleeping squirrel." Then he padded away, while the guard muttered, "Faint kittypet."

By sunhigh the next day, the story that Fireheart had fainted because of he missed a sleeping squirrel was well known around the camp, and he was extremely humiliated. But he did not reveal his friend's secret.

* * *

And back to the Power of Three, that time when they visited the Tribe of Rushing Water:

Jaypaw let out a deep breath. He had to do this. He bunched his muscles in preparation to spring, and jumped. But he didn't feel his feet hit the hard stone. Instead, he felt the air rushing past him as he fell down, down, down, to the bottom of the crack, where he felt nothing for the rest of his life. Because he no longer had a life.

All the cats above fainted.

* * *

Ahh… and that time where Bluestar died:

Fireheart watched as his leader fell down, down, down, with the lead dog.

_Everyone_ fainted.

* * *

And when Brightheart hurt her eye…:

When Brightheart entered the camp, she looked up from the ground. Several cats fainted, including Cloudpaw.

_Fox-dung._

* * *

And when that tree fell into camp…:

Jayfeather checked to see if Longtail was alive, then shook his head. Mousefur let out a distressed wail, then fainted.

Jayfeather moved to Briarpaw, and soon announced that her spine was broken. Her mother let out the second distressed wail, and fainted too.

* * *

And when Rusty joined:

"Nooooo!" Longtail wailed. "My ear!" He fell to the ground.

Rusty stared in shock. "D-did I kill him?"

"No," said Bluestar. "He fainted."

Rusty had to hold back laughter.

* * *

When Firepaw overheard Tigerclaw talking to Longtail and Darkstripe about Ravenpaw 'betraying' ThunderClan:

"...ShadowClan, so he must be punished!"

_What?_ thought Firepaw, _Ravenpaw would never betray ThunderClan… Tigerclaw must be lying! I'll go and tell Graypaw and Ravenpaw right away. _So he walked off and found the two apprentices. When he told them what he had overheard…

...they both fainted

* * *

When Tigerclaw killed Redtail:

"At last, Redtail is out of the way, and I will become deputy!" Tigerclaw fainted from happiness.

* * *

And when Spottedleaf died:

"Spottedleaf is...dead?" Both Bluestar and Firepaw fainted.

* * *

When Jaypaw first saw Rock:

Jaypaw stared at the cat before him.

"You look so…" He paused. He didn't want to offend this cat, but he just couldn't help it. "...disgusting!" Then He fainted from shock at the sight of the 'disgusting' cat.

* * *

When Lionblaze, Hollyleaf, and Jayfeather found out that Squirrelflight wasn't their mother:

All three of them stared in shock.

Then they fainted, and fell into the burning camp.

* * *

When Cinderpaw's leg was injured:

Fireheart stared at his apprentice in shock. "Is she going to be alright?"

"She'll live. But her leg won't."

Fireheart fainted.

Yellowfang snorted. "Toms."

* * *

When Hollyleaf killed Ashfur:

Hollyleaf stared in shock at her work. "I… killed him?"

She fainted, and fell into the river.

* * *

When Dovepaw found out Ivypaw was training in the Dark Forest:

"So… you're training in the Dark Forest."

"Yep."

Dovepaw fainted.

* * *

When Cinderheart found out about the prophecy Lionblaze was in:

"You've got such a big destiny… I'm nothing… I'm sorry, Lionblaze I can't be with you!" Cinderheart ran away.

Lionblaze stood frozen in shock for a moment, then he fell down unconscious.

* * *

When Firestar announced that they had to leave the forest:

"We must leave the forest in order to survive!"

There was a moment of utter silence, then all the cats fainted…

...and were caught by twolegs.

* * *

When Feathertail died:

…Both Feathertail and Sharptooth were dead.

All the clan cats there fainted.

* * *

When Tawnypaw moved to ShadowClan:

Tawnypaw took a deep breath. "I'm going to live in ShadowClan."

All of ThunderClan fainted.

* * *

When Flametail died:

"Flametail is dead."

All of ShadowClan fainted.

* * *

When Russetfur died:

Blackstar stared at his deputy's dead body in shock.

Then he fainted.

"Blackstar! Are you alright?"

* * *

When Tigerclaw became leader of ShadowClan:

"Yes, I am now leader of ShadowClan."

Everyone but ShadowClan fainted.

"Well, I guess the gathering's over now. ShadowClan, back to camp."

* * *

When Runningnose was a kit:

"Help! His nose won't stop running! I think he's sick!" His mother cried. Then she fainted.

Therefore, he was named Runningnose.

* * *

When Tallstar died:

"He's… dead?" Both Fireheart and Onewhisker fainted.

* * *

When Silverstream died:

"Noooo! Silverstream, come back!" Graystripe howled. Then he fainted.

* * *

When Bluestar received the news that Tigerclaw killed Oakheart:

"You… killed… him?" Bluestar fainted.

"What's up with her?"

* * *

When Leafpool found out Mothwing didn't believe in StarClan:

"You… don't believe in StarClan?"

"Yep. I just think they're a bunch of dead cats."

Leafpool fainted.

* * *

When Stormfur decided to stay in the mountains:

"You're staying here? Just leaving your clan? But you're such a great warrior! You should should stay with us!"

"I'm happy here, with Brook. I'm staying here."

The RiverClan cats fainted.

* * *

When Hawkfrost died:

"I can't believe I did this! There's so much blood… the lake is so red….

Firestar fainted from shock.

* * *

**So that was it! Let me know what you think in the reviews, and if you did the riddle, let me know what you think the answer is to that. Another hint is that it's mentioned a lot in this chapter.**

**I hope Lionpaw didn't offend anyone ^-^**

**~leefpool**


	2. Sleepwalking

**Alright, the chapter. I'm too lazy to think up a riddle, and I might not do the riddle thing at all anymore. I'm just too lazy. Answer to the last riddle was 'shock'.**

**Hope the update didn't take too long, I was being too lazy.**

* * *

Chapter two:

Sleepwalking

* * *

Rowanclaw watched Blackstar pad into his den. _That battle wasn't fun. _Rowanclaw had a torn claw, a scratched shoulder, and a very scratched-up side.

"Rowanclaw, were you listening? I said you should go get some rest, and be careful to put as little weight as possible on your injured side.

"Oh, yes, Littlecloud."

* * *

Someone shook Rowanclaw awake. he looked up and saw Blackstar. "Rowanclaw, I want you to stand guard at the RiverClan border tonight. I don't want to face a battle like that one earlier again."

Rowanclaw stared at him. "In the middle of the night? But Littlecloud told me to stay in my nest."

"Listen to your leader, or I'll scratch your already-scratched-up side!"

Rowanclaw bristled. "Alright, I'm going! Just no scratching." He got to his feet and padded out of the camp and to the RiverClan border. _Well, that was strange._

* * *

"All, warriors, wake up!" said Blackstar.

Tigerheart groaned. He'd been having a wonderful dream where he and Dovewing had reunited. Oh well, it wasn't like that would ever actually happen.

"Alright, warriors, you are to sleep in the apprentices den tonight. Sleep on top of each other if you must."

Tigerheart groaned again. Blackstar had woken them just to move them to the apprentices den. Tigerheart, along with the rest of the warriors, moved there.

* * *

"Kits, you are to guard the camp entrance tonight. If Rowanclaw tries to get in, don't let him."

"Great!" The kits squealed. "Our first orders from Blackstar!" They went to the entrance and sat down.

Blackstar went to the elders, and woke them up

"What?" Snaketail said grouchily.

"All you elders are to go hunting immediately."

All the elders stared. "But… we're too old to do that anymore."

"Do it, or I'll make you do your own ticks!" Blackstar snarled.

"Okay, we'll go." The elders headed out of their den. "Well, that was strange." Then they saw the kits guarding the camp. "What are you all doing, young'uns?"

"We're guarding the camp, because Blackstar told us to!" They announced proudly.

The elders continued out to the forest. "That is also strange."

* * *

Blackstar yawned and stretched, dawn light filtering into his den.

He headed out to get some prey, and was surprised to see the warriors stumbling out of the apprentices den. "Hey! Why were you sleeping in the apprentices den?"

They stared at him. "Don't you know? You told us to!"

Blackstar stared at them in confusion. "I don't remember doing that." He spotted the kits, fallen asleep at the camp entrance. "Why are the kits at the camp entrance?"

"How are we supposed to know?"

At that moment, Littlecloud came out of the medicine den, yawning. "I think Blackstar was sleepwalking last night. Everyone, check all the dens."

The warriors dispersed to check the dens.

"The elders aren't in their den!"

"The queens are all here!"

"Where's Rowanclaw?"

"The fresh-kill pile is fuller than it was yesterday!"

Blackstar pieced these things together. "I must have sent Rowanclaw on a hunting patrol, with the elders all in it."

Suddenly, Rowanclaw stumbled through the camp entrance, almost walking on top of the kits.

"Rowanclaw! Where are the elders?"

Rowanclaw looked up. He looked exhausted. "In their den? If they're missing, I don't know. You sent me to guard the RiverClan border in the middle of the night."

"I did? Okay, everyone go look for the eld-" Before he could finish talking, the elders came into camp carrying fresh-kill.

"Why did Blackstar have to send us on a hunting patrol?"

"I'm sore."

"I'm sure that I'll die if I do that again."

They stopped by the fresh-kill pile, set down their prey, and turned to Blackstar. "Yes, Blackstar, why did you send us on a hunting patrol? And why did you make the kits guard the camp entrance?"

"He was sleepwalking," said Littlecloud.

"Oh. Well, we elders are not going to listen to Blackstar if he gives us orders in the middle of the night, thank you very much. We're going to bed."

"Me too," Rowanclaw yawned.

* * *

**I'm absolutely sure that that chapter was boring. Sorry.**

**I'm up for suggestions for what to as the next chapter. I'm out of ideas. Make sure any ideas are random, but I don't want them acting like twolegs or playing with twoleg things.**

**~leefpool**


	3. Kittypets

**May contain spoilers.**

**Okay, no answer to the last riddle, since there wasn't one. But here's this one's riddle:**

_You fall into my hands when you lose a living thing,_

_When they're carried off away, the stars begin to sing._

_But I weigh on top of you, so you cannot join in._

_What am I?_

**Hint: It's only said once, and it's inside one of the last paragraphs.**

**Chapter time! **

* * *

Chapter 3:

Kittypets

* * *

Jayfeather sat with Firestar in his den. "What is it?" He asked.

"Well, our clan has so many cats that have kittypet blood, I'm thinking the other clans are going to reject us, so I think I should go to the moonpool and speak to StarClan."

Jayfeather nodded. "You should. And speaking of StarClan, I got an omen from them a few days ago that I forgot to tell you about."

"What was it?"

"It said that something big that had to do with twolegs would happen soon."

Firestar bristled. "Are they going to attack?"

"I don't know. But you should still go to the moonpool. I'll prepare traveling herbs."

"Of course."

* * *

"Tonight, the rest of the clans will all have the craziest expressions on their faces! Lets get to the gathering, everyone." All of ThunderClan set off to the gathering.

When they got there, Firestar immediately got onto his tree branch and let out a yowl, before anyone could ask why all of ThunderClan was there.

"Cats of all clans," he said, a few days ago, I was troubled that all of you would start rejecting us for the amount of kittypet blood we have, so I went to the moonpool to ask StarClan what I should do. This was their answer: ThunderClan shall all become kittypets."

"WHAT? Why would you do that?"

"At least half of you have clan blood!"

"Why not just kill all the cats with kittypet blood instead?"

"Everyone, calm down. We are doing it because StarClan told us to, the half of us that only have clan blood will fade out eventually, and killing off cats would be a waste."

"But there can't be three clans, there's always been four!"

"I'll just go get SkyClan, then."

"What's SkyClan?"

"Just a forgotten clan that left the old forest countless moons ago that StarClan sent me to re-build a bit after I became ThunderClan's leader."

Silence.

"Well, goodbye, RiverClan, ShadowClan, and WindClan. ThunderClan, we will share tongues for the last time, and reveal all our secrets, since we won't need to keep them anymore."

* * *

After a long night of sharing tongues and secrets and grief, all the ThunderClan cats left for the twolegplace, except Firestar, Sandstorm, and Graystripe, who went to find SkyClan. "I told you they'd have crazy faces!" said Firestar.

* * *

**Hope that wasn't too boring.**

**Still want suggestions! Make sure they're funny if you give them.**

**~leefpool**


	4. Fly Away!

**Hi! I'd like to congratulate Stuffed Watermelon and Gingehfish on getting the last chapter's riddle correct! Though I might have made that chapter's riddle hint too easy. It was grief**

_You feel joy when you find me,_

_And all your weight leaves thee,_

_And with me you see across the land._

_What am I?_

**And that is the riddle of the chapter!**

**Hint: Mentioned more than once, two times it's mentioned before a Clan.**

**Not a very good hint, is it? Oh well. The rest of my ideas for hints gave too much away.**

**I'd like to thank Indigostartherandomkitty for this chapter's idea.**

* * *

Chapter Four:

Fly Away!

* * *

"WindClan, I have come to my conclusion." Onestar said from his perch. They'd been worried for days that ShadowClan would attack them because of they thought WindClan was weak.

"As you probably already know, we have suspicions and a little bit of evidence that ShadowClan is going to attack us."

His audience hissed, and one cat yowled, "How dare even think of attacking us in our own territory!"

Onestar waited for them to calm down. "Yes. That's why my conclusion is that we will attack them first; that way, we'd be surprising them as well as keeping their disgusting scent off our territory."

The cats below him yowled in agreement.

"We will attack tomorrow. In the mean time, Ashfoot, organize everyone into training groups to practice battle moves."

"Yes Onestar." Ashfoot started to sort them into groups.

* * *

The next was cold with heavy rainy. Lightning flashed in the distance.

Onestar growled in frustration. They were supposed to attack ShadowClan today, but there was so much rain… he didn't think they would be able to. Thunder roared, as if agreeing that it was shame.

Pawsteps sounded outside his den. "Onestar?"

"Come in, Ashfoot."

Ashfoot padded in. "Have you decided to cancel the attack on ShadowClan?"

Onestar sighed. "We will postpone it until tomorrow."

"Yes... well, at least ShadowClan won't attack in the rain."

* * *

The next day was even wetter than the day before, and they had to postpone the battle again. It was hard to find prey to build up energy for the battle, but they managed some how.

The day after that, however, was dry. Besides all the puddles. So, WindClan set out to the ThunderClan border at sunhigh. But they were in for a surprise when they got there.

The stream that separated ThunderClan and WindClan's territories had overflowed, so it looked more like a river.

"How are we ever going to get over _that_ without getting our paws wet?" A warrior complained.

"I don't know," said Onestar. "We might have to call off the attack until it goes down."

"I've got an idea!" Feathertail stepped out of the crowd. "We could fly."

All the cats stared at her.

"That's impossible!"

"No, it isn't. It happened once when I was hunting. I was chasing a big rabbit toward the lake, and I was just getting up to full speed, when I lifted off the ground. Lets try it."

"Well, I don't think it will work, but we'll try."

"Great! I'll teach everyone."

Heathertail led them back to camp.

They stood at the top of the their hollow. "Alright everyone! Run as fast as you can, really, as fast as you possibly can, and if you start lifting off the ground, keep going until you're flying, then fly back over here. Ready? go!"

All the cats started racing down the hill. Onestar felt ridiculous, but he did it anyway. Soon he felt a strange sensation, like his paws were lifting off the ground. He looked down, and saw that they were. Joy spread through him at the sensation of flight, and he turned to fly back to Heathertail. He landed. "Did you see that? Did you? Did you? I was actually _flying_!"

Heathertail laughed. "And now you're acting like a kit."

At these words, Onestar straightened himself. "No, I am not." The rest of the warriors who were practicing flying landed. "We will practice flying until sunset, and attack tomorrow."

All the cats yowled in agreement, and immediately started running again.

They practiced until all they had to do was jump into the air.

* * *

Blackstar was dosing off outside of his den, and didn't expect a WindClan cat to drop on top of him.

He jumped up, fur bristling, and the cat was thrown off of him. He looked up and saw more WindClan cats dropping from the sky. Thinking he must be going insane, Blackstar passed out.

* * *

It was the gathering.

RiverClan proudly padded onto the island, glad they were the only Clan that could swim, or they'd have nothing to be proud of. Well, except for the fact that they were the only Clan who could fish.

The rest of the Clans weren't there yet, so RiverClan settled themselves down in the center of the clearing, and Mistystar climbed onto her tree branch. She waited while her cats talked, until one of them said, "Mistystar, look at the sky!"

Mistystar looked, and to her utter shock and amazement, she saw cats flying towards the island. One of them was Onestar, who landed on another branch.

"O-Onestar, h-how are you-"

"-flying? Well, thats a WindClan secret."

Just as the last WindClan cat landed, ThunderClan started to pad out of the undergrowth.

Bramblestar padded to the tree and climbed his way to a branch.

The Thunderclan and Windclan cats started talking (Riverclan still too shocked to speak, and ThunderClan not knowing WindClan could fly,) while they waited for ShadowClan to arrive.

After waiting quite awhile, they decided to start without the extremely late Clan. Mistystar went first.

"Fish are running well in the river, as usual," she said, finally over her shock. "I have nothing else to report."

Bramblestar went next.

"Prey is running well in our territory, and though we have lost great cats in the last battle, we are recovering well."

Next was Onestar.

"Rabbits are hopping everywhere, as you might know, and we have decided to change our name to FlightClan."

"What? Why would you do that?" Cries of surprise were heard from ThunderClan.

"Because we can fly."

"What? You'll have to prove that to us!"

"Well, since it is pretty much the end of the gathering anyway, WindClan will depart." And with that, WindClan/FlightClan took off into the sky, back to their camp, leaving all the ThunderClan cats in shock.

Bramblestar turned faintly to Mistystar. "H-h-h-how are you not shocked?"

"They flew in earlier when you weren't here. We already got over the shock."

And with that, Bramblestar fainted.

* * *

**Hope you liked that.**

**Anyway, review! I'd also like to ask that nobody gives** **any suggestions until I next ask, because I've got plenty of my own now :)**

**~leefpool**


	5. School? What's That?

**Hello, sorry for not updating in a whole MONTH! And may I congratulate leafdapple3, Streamfur (Guest), and Rowanoak (Guest) on getting the riddle answer right! It was flight.**

**Now, for something I completely forgot about… the disclaimer! If I **_**did**_ **own Warriors, it wouldn't seem nearly as awesome!**

**Replies to Reviews (I'm only replying to certain ones…):**

**Indigostartherandomkitty: Yep! :) Thanks again for the idea!**

**Rowanoak (Guest): Yeah, everyone just **_**loves **_**picking on Blackstar, right? Speaking of which, I just saw him pass by over there… everyone, tackle him!**

_What has teeth as sharp as nails,_

_And aren't know for their tiny tails?_

_Fur that all hangs down,_

_White black and brown?_

**Weirdest riddle I ever made…**

**Hint: The End.**

**Onto da chapta which is two Ideas for this Fanfic that I put together!**

* * *

Chapter Five:

School? What's that?

* * *

It was just a normal Gathering.

All the cats were sitting there, talking, hissing, scratching, and telling each other to stop hissing and scratching because clouds had covered the moon.

But, since most of the cats went crazy after the battle with the Dark Forest, and the sane ones were the ones who were not fighting, of _course_ the insane cats who were the ones who _were_ fighting and would not listen to sane cats.

"No! We will never stop fighti-" but the cat who was speaking (Jayfeather), was cut off when he saw a large group of sparkling cats coming down from the sky.

"VAMPIRES!" Screamed an insane cat.

"Jayfeather, how did you see them?" Said a sane cat.

"Because my psychic powers!"

"I don't believe you."

"Silence!" All the StarClan cats said at exactly the same time.

After all the cats quieted down, they said what they had come to say.

"Cats of all Clans, since you all seem unable to listen to us and stop fighting-" the cat who was speaking glanced at Jayfeather and Willowshine, who were fighting side by side against Bramblestar in complete silence. "-we have decided that you shall all go to school."

"School? What's that?"

"A place where you go every morning to learn things. At dawn tomorrow, groom yourselves thoroughly, and head straight here."

After that, Yellowfang brainwashed Jayfeather into making every cat at the lake (including the ones who didn't go to the Gathering) remember to go to school tomorrow.

"That is all. Now everyone go back home."

So, all the ThunderClan cats went to the WindClan camp, all the ShadowClan cats went to the Thunderclan camp, all the RiverClan cats went to the ShadowClan camp, and all the WindClan cats swam (that's right, WindClan _swam_) to the RiverClan camp. Except the sane cats. They went to their own camps.

And just before that, the StarClan cats brainwashed Jayfeather into brainwashing the kits of all the Clans to go to the Island and…. you'll see what StarClan brainwashed Jayfeather into brainwashing the kits into going to the Island for in a moment.

* * *

The next day, at sunset, all the cats of the Clans got up and groomed themselves, then headed to the Island. When all the Clans were halfway there (even though they all would've been halfway there at different times), StarClan sent messages into each of their heads that said, _YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO COME AT DAWN! GO BACK HOME!_

So, all the cats went back home, ate some fresh-kill, forgot to share tongues (except the sane ones), and went back to sleep.

The _next _day, at dawn this time, they got up, groomed each other, ate, and headed to the Island.

This time when they were halfway there, StarClan sent messages that said, _GOOD! YOU CAME AT THE RIGHT TIME THIS TIME!, _screaming into their heads.

When they got to the Island, all the insane cats fainted then un-fainted when they saw the enormous building on it.

"WHAT'S THAT?!"

StarClan cats started raining from the sky singing, "IT'S SCHOOOOL! COME THROUGH THE ENTRAAAAAAAAAAANCE!" And opened the door.

All the cats went in, and were guided to their classes as if they were blind. Jayfeather, who suddenly didn't remember how to do anything but talk, and became curious about everything, and was being carried by his StarClan cat because he didn't know how to walk, was continuously asking questions. "Hey, who made this place?"

"The kits."

"What is this place?"

"A school."

"Is there more than one of this place?"

"Yes."

"What is this place for?"

"Learning."

"Do you learn things in anywhere that isn't this place?"

"Yes. Shut up."

All the cats made it to their classes, and were given booklets on what you do in school, and for the next hour, the insane cats read theirs, and the sane ones were taught how to read. The hour after that, the insane cats did their classes and the sane ones read their booklets. The hour after that, everyone did their lessons.

* * *

The school-day was over, the cats said good day, opened the classroom doors, and all began to play.

Well, they didn't _really_ begin to play; but, I'll tell you what they did do.

They all went into the halls and started screaming at the top of their lungs.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" And so on.

The sane cats were only screaming because they were screaming at the insane cats to stop screaming.

All the screaming caused all of the teachers (who were StarClan cats) to poke their heads out of the classrooms and scream even louder, "ALL OF YOU GO TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE AT ONCE!" and all slam the classroom doors shut.

So, they all went to the principal's office, still screaming at the top of their lungs.

When they knocked on the door, a deep, loud voice answered. "Come in."

The cat's all gulped (still screaming), and opened the door.

And there, sitting at the principal's desk, was a Two-leg.

All the cats stopped screaming. Then they fainted. Then they un-fainted. Then they ran out of the office and back to their homes, screaming, "We won't be bad anymore! Good bye!"

And that was the end of day one. Or two. I don't know which.

* * *

The next day, they got up at dawn again, groomed again, ate again, and went to school again.

In class, their teachers greeted them by saying, "We're going on a field trip, get in the bus!"

So, they all piled into the bus (which Hollyleaf drove).

Since Hollyleaf didn't know how to drive, she broke several driving laws and cried about it, before they finally got to their destination. But she didn't let them out until she finished boring them with stories of how she had NEVER, _EVER _broken the Warrior code, which everyone knew wasn't true. But finally, they made it into the building.

"WHAT IS THIS PLACE?!" Screamed an insane cat.

"I don't know," said a sane cat.

"It is a museum, a place where certain things are put on display for the enjoyment of Two-legs. It is much like a Zoo, but unlike in a museum, they only have animals, and unlike in a Zoo, museums don't just have animals, but inanimate objects as well," said Jayfeather, who, despite yesterday not knowing how to do anything but talk, was now the smartest person in the entire school.

"Alright everyone, let's go to the area that has stuff about animals."

So they went to that section.

And the first thing they saw was a monstrous creature. It was all furry and brown, and it's mouth was open in a silent roar. It had large, pointy teeth, which were much bigger than a cat's.

"RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!"

And all the cats stormed out of the building, and back to the lake, and back to their territories, and back to their camps, and back to their dens, and back to their nests, and into their dreams, the kit's shivering from the sight of the monster the whole time.

* * *

_Back at the Museum…_

* * *

Jayfeather walked blindly around the museum.

"Why did everyone leave? It's just a stuffed bear."

* * *

**I'm not going to hope you liked it, cuz I think you really did! My own, personal Warriors in school thing...**

**Sorry if it seemed a little troll-fic-y in some places.**

**Review please! Every review gives you one virtual cookie. And please don't review more than once just for the cookie, it's not nice. AND don't review just saying, "Cookie" or something.**

**Suggestions please! And thanks to all reviewers!**

**~leefpool**


	6. Werespider

**Hi! I know… back so soon? Well, here's the story of HOW: Last night, I realized, 'oh, wait, since there's two days until Halloween, why not a Halloween special?' (Though, there's one day left now.) So, here I am!**

**Congrats goes to leafdapple3 for getting the last chapter's riddle answer right!**

**Replies to Reviews (RTR):**

**Indigostartherandomkitty: Yeah, that idea was random! It just popped into my mind like, "Hey, you know what? Jayfeather should be dumb." Later: "Hey, now Jayfeather should be really smart!" (::)**

**leafdapple3: Yam, kay, u r right. Blah. Randomness. YOU'RE MY SISTER, SO I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE RANDOM AT YOU AND give you a cookie (::)**

**Riddle!:**

_When I bite,_

_My hourglass shows how much time you have left;_

_Though through the pain of my poison,_

_You might survive just yet._

_And though I may hide in the dark, away from any seeking eye,_

_If my fangs sink in your skin,_

_It is your time to die._

_What am I?_

**Creepy, right? (The hourglass doesn't really show when you're gonna die)**

**Hint: You'll see the words of what it is at least four times in the chapter.**

**Oh, announcement! From now on, you get a virtual cookie every time you get the riddle answer right!**

**Onto da chapter! (BTW, this is a continuation of the last chapter, just a few moons later, and the school isn't there anymore.)**

* * *

Chapter Six:

Werespider

* * *

_In StarClan…._

Firestar was bored.

As a matter of fact, he was super-double-extra-crazy-random-one hundred and ninety nine percent-bored.

He turned to one of his past lives (he had been hanging out with them all day). "What should I do?"

"Um… what about this?" The speaking past life explained his idea.

"Brilliant! I'll go get him immediately." Firestar disappeared.

* * *

_A Few Days Later, Down at the Lake:_

Dovewing was noisily stalking a squirrel (which had ran away long ago) in ShadowClan territory, when another cat, which had eight legs and huge fangs, landed in front of her. She screeched, and ran back to the ThunderClan camp.

As soon as she got into camp, small pointy things that were yellow, orange and white, started raining from the sky.

"IT'S FIRESTAR AND YELLOWFANG AND WHITESTORM!" Screamed the insane cat who previously screamed, "VAMPIRES!"

"No, it's not," said a sane cat.

"They taste yummy!" Said Jayfeather, who was dumb again.

The insane cat screamed. "SOMEBODY! HELP! JAYFEATHER IS EATING FIRESTAR AND YELLOWFANG AND WHITESTORM!"

Suddenly, a sparkling Firestar rose from the pointy thing Jayfeather was about to eat, and said, "I am-"

But before he could finish his sentence…

"STARFIRE BECAME A VAMPIRE! AHHHHHHH!" The insane cat ran in circles until he bumped into a wall. Jayfeather continued to eat the pointy things. Dovewing stared...

...and Firestar face-pawed. "My name is Firestar, not Starfire."

* * *

Above, on the edge of the hollow, a cat- well, more like a cat dressed as a black widow spider, watched this happen while trying not to laugh. _That bag of candy corn really caused a scene, _he thought.

He quietly went to the camp entrance, as he had been instructed, and noisily ran inside the camp screeching, "I AM A BLACK WIDOW! I WILL KILL YOU ALL UNLESS YOU SERVE ME!"

All the insane cats immediately started running around in circles saying, "DON'T KILL US! We'lldoasyouaskwe'lldoasyouaskwe'lldoasyouaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaask!" While all the sane cats, who were smart enough to tell the difference between a spider and a cat, hissed and said, "We won't bow to you! You're a cat, just like the rest of us!"

The cat/spider turned to the insane cats and purred. "Thank you. Now, go and stick the sane cats in a tree."

"Yes! Just don't kill us!" And the insane cats took the sane cats and stuffed them into trees.

"Now, I'd like to speak to Firestar."

So, Firestar and the cat/spider went into the leader's den, kicked out Bramblestar despite all his protests, and sat down.

"This plan is brilliant, Firestar!"

"I know, right? Well, Smudge, I planned a field trip!"

"What is it?" Smudge asked eagerly.

Firestar leaned in and whispered his plan.

"Alright, that's it."

Smudge nodded gravely. "It will commence now." He headed out and yowled, "ThunderClan, we are going on a field trip. Get into the bus."

The school had disappeared, but the bus hadn't. They'd left it on the Island, so that's where ThunderClan went. They piled into the bus, and headed to the place they were going. (This time Snowkit drove.)

When the got to their destination, breaking several driving laws again, Firestar went to the drivers seat. "Snowkit, what are you doing here?" he hissed.

Snowkit didn't answer.

"I said, what are you doing here?"

Silence.

This time, he said it right into Snowkit's ear, a the top of his lungs. "I SAID, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

No answer.

_This _time, he shook him and said through clenched teeth, "I asked what you are doing here."

Snowkit tipped his head sideways in confusion, and Firestar AT LAST remembered he was deaf.

"Oh, um, never mind. Sorry about tha-"

And before he could finish, he was trampled by the rest of the passengers. At the end of the line of passengers, Smudge came over. "Uh, are you alright, Firestar?"

"Yes," Firestar growled, picking himself up and brushing off his fiery fur with dignity.

Smudge and Firestar headed out of the bus, where the rest of the cats were waiting and staring at the place in front of them. "What is this place?"

"It's a Two-leg place."

The cat's gasped. "Let's explore it!"

"Not so fast! I need to tell you the plan."

"Okay! As long as we get to go inside."

"Alright, can everyone hear me?"

"YES!"

"Okay then, listen up! Tonight is a night that Two-legs call "Halloween." On this night, they go to other Two-leg nests with pelts that often look like some sort of monster. Got all that?"

"YES!"

"When they go to the other Two-led nests, they say, "trick or treat?" and the Two-leg they visit gives them something sweet called "candy," got all that?"

"YES!"

"Well, we're going to follow one of the Two-legs, and when the other Two-leg gives them candy, we will knock the thing they're using to hold the candy out of their paws. The we'll take the candy, and start following a different Two-leg. Got all that?"

"YES!"

"Do you all still remember how to read?"

"YES!"

"Alright, then don't take these candies: Snickers, Kit-Kat, Three Musketeers, Twix… oh, never mind. Just check the ingredients and make sure there's not something called, "chocolate." Got all that?"

"YES!"

"Any questions?"

"YES! What is chocolate and why can't we eat it?"

Before Smudge could answer, Jayfeather whispered something to the cat who was carrying him, got off the cat, and answered the question (since he was apparently the worlds smartest cat again):

"Chocolate is a delicious brown substance that is often used in candy, and there is a popular brand of it called "Hershey's." It melts in the heat and freezes in the cold, and most Two-legs like it. However, it is poisonous to both cats and dogs. That is what chocolate is and why we can't eat it." Jayfeather straightened his glasses which had just come out of no where so he could look cool about knowing what chocolate was and why cats couldn't eat it.

Smudge nodded to Jayfeather. "Thank you." _For a whole essay. _He turned to the rest of the cats. "Did everyone get all that?"

"YES!"

"Good. Any questions?"

"YES! If chocolate is poisonous for dogs too, why don't we keep some to defend our camp with?"

Jayfeather answered again. "A small amount of chocolate is likely not to do harm, and it is known that some dogs have no reaction to the chocolate in the matter of health. Therefore, it is more efficient to use our claws." He straightened his glasses again.

Smudge nodded to Jayfeather again. "Thank you again." _For another whole essay._ He turned to the other cats again. "Did everyone get all that?"

"YES!"

"Good. Any Questions?"

Crickets.

"Shall we raid Two-leg place, then?"

"YES!"

So they all stormed Two-leg place, got tons of candy (literally, it took them one hundred trips to bring them to the territories.), headed home with it, and all got sugar-high. Here's the story of Sugar-High:

Foxleap gorged himself with Jolly-Ranchers, and suddenly felt a whole lot of energy flow through him. He started bouncing off the walls, thinking he could fly, and so on.

While the rest of the Clan dodged Foxleap's bouncing, Bramblestar was gorging himself with A LOT of candy; more than Foxleap had gorged himself. Since he ate WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much, he lost a life and came to back life without anyone noticing.

Jayfeather had become dumb _again,_ and had eaten as much as Foxleap. If he were still smart, he wouldn't have eaten even one.

That concludes the story of Sugar-High.

* * *

The next day, Smudge left.

But let's go back a bit.

…

Ivypool was eating her morning meal. She'd made sure to get up at a time where none of the crazy cats would be awake.

That's right. She was one of the sane cats. Okay, let's get back on track.

So, Ivypool was sitting in the shadows, when she saw a cat emerge from the leader's den. But… it looked like a spider. _That cat!_

Ivypool pushed her food further into the shadows. _I'll finish that later._

She waited until he had gone into the tunnel, then raced after him. When she got out the camp, she found the cat pulling off the spider-thing.

_I knew it! _"Hey, you!"

The cat looked up with a startled expression. "W-what?"

"Get that thing back on and come back in the camp."

So they both went back into the camp. Ivypool led the cat onto the High Ledge.

"ThunderClan, wake up!" She yowled.

All the cats immediately came out of their dens, and Ivypool explained to them what had just happened. Then she turned to the cat who had pretended to be a spider. "Take off the thing."

He obliged, and the reaction of the crowd went like this:

Sane cats: "New it!"

All insane cats except Jayfeather and the cat who previously called Firestar Starfire: *Gasp* "That cat must have defeated the black widow! How did he do it?"

The cat who previously called Firestar Starfire: "HE'S A WEREWOLF!" Then he fainted.

Jayfeather: He straightened his out-of-no where-glasses. "The correct term for someone who transforms into a spider would be, "werespider." But, since he is a cat, and werespiders do not not exist in the fictional world or the real one, it would only be correct to call him a cat." He straightened his glasses again. "Whenever I have been in my smart state, I have known that he-" he flicked his tail at the cat, "-was a cat the whole time." His voice slowly grew into an evil crazy one at the next part. "Of course, I neglected to tell you this because it was so much fun to watch you suffer in fear of the supposed black widow spider! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH-" he suddenly stopped laughing and fell to the ground, then spoke again. "Hey, where am I? Why am I on the ground? Is that a bug?" And so on.

End of reactions.

"Well," said Ivypool, "tell us who you really are and why you are here."

"I-I'm Smudge, and I'm an old kitty-pet friend of Firestar's. Firestar got this idea, because he was bored, and so I was supposed to dress up as a black widow and take over ThunderClan, and go back home the next day. And when I first came, he told be to rain candy-corns on everyone first."

_So that's what those things were…. "_Alright, you can go home now."

Smudge let out a sigh of relief and ran away before you could say. "candy."

That concludes "Werespider."

* * *

**Hopecha' liked it! First time I did a holiday special! :)**

**Yeah... once our dag ate a whole chocolate cake without dying. Weird, right?**

**Anyway, I'M OUT OF IDEAS! So please gimme some? *Puppydog eyes***

**Remember, if you get the riddle answer right, it's a cookie for you! Plus, you get a cookie per review!**

**Thanks, R&R-ers!**

**~leefpool**


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